Before Sleep Takes Me
by BaronessBlixen
Summary: Post 03x04: David can't sleep and thinks about the two women he loves most. A little bit Snowing and some Charming Family Feels. One-shot.


**A/N**: Just something that kept me up at night. Hope you enjoy. This show is causing me so many feelings I have no idea if I'm making any sense. Reviews and comments are always appreciated :)

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Everyone is asleep. Everyone except for him. He is tired, he is exhausted; sleep however is not in his cards. Not tonight. All too soon sleep will be all he has left. David Nolan knows as much. Eternal sleep. Death. Prince Charming has seen it too many times. He has cheated death once or twice. This time will be different. His death. It's merely a small word, yet it has such great implications. First there is pain. He has gotten used to the sometimes dull, but more often sharp agony. The pain is not what keeps him awake this night; it's his family.

Emma, once again, has chosen a sleeping-place far away from her parents. But he has learned a few things already; he always makes sure that they can see her. Right now he just watches her. Her sleep is restless and he is almost certain she's dreaming about Neal. She is still so young and she keeps losing everyone she loves. Just before she and Neal could have really been something, he left her. With some difficulty he realizes that he is doing the same thing to her. And to his wife, who is sleeping more peacefully. He left her side as soon as she fell asleep. Letting go isn't easy, he finds. She is so close to him, yet not close enough to touch. He wonders if this feeling will stay with him once he's gone. Or maybe all those emotions will be left here with them.

The words Mary Margaret said to him earlier still haunt him. It's part of the reason why he can't sleep. It's not himself he is worried about. He has made peace with all of this. But what will become of her? Of them? They have made it through some dire moments and this time there'll be no one to save him. "I will always find you," a motto and a mantra. Here in this place where hope itself seems to have gotten lost, it becomes an empty phrase. He just wants to make sure it's true one more time. He puts all his hope in his wish to live long enough to help them find and save Henry. That's all that he can still give them. He owes it to Emma. All her life she's had to endure loss and disappointment. If it's the last thing he'll ever do, but he's going to get her son back. Somehow he hopes that she'll remember him like that; he can't hope to be remembered as her father. All he's ever done is leave her. First as a newborn and now again. His only solace is that this time she'll have her mother, she'll have Mary Margaret. They will have to take care of each other. Without him. He turns to look at his one true love; the woman he still sacrifices everything for. She showed him what love really feels like and she gave him his daughter. The daughter they both hardly know. He will never really know her; there's not enough time.

Sadness grips him for a moment and makes it hard to breathe. He will never get to spend the time with her they deserve. He's held her once when she was a baby and had to give her up. Now that they're reunited he has to do it again. To save her and her son. Every cell in his body revolts just thinking about leaving her again. But his wound is getting worse. The strength he used to have is leaving him. Soon… he knows. He finally begins to feel his body give in to much needed sleep. He doesn't want to give in to death's little brother, but he knows that tomorrow is yet another day he needs to help his family find Henry. Carefully he joins his wife in their made-up bed. She doesn't wake up, but she notices the change; she snuggles up to him and puts her hand possessively over his chest where his heart is still beating. For how long he doesn't know. And she doesn't even know it's in danger. If she did, she would try everything to change this. But David knows it can't be changed. They're losing. For the first time there is no way they can beat this, win this.

As sleep drags him away from consciousness, he can't help but lose himself in a dream. In it he sees Emma – smiling, laughing again – with Henry. The boy has grown! He is almost a man in his dream that's illuminated by almost blinding sunshine. There, somewhere in the back, is Mary Margaret. She, too, is smiling. He sees worry lines on her face that haven't been there before. Her hair is longer; it reminds him of the time when they first met. His hand reaches out and finds her; he neither knows nor cares whether it happens in his dream or in reality. He can feel her warmth and it is all he needs at that moment. David tries to hold on it, to use it as an anchor; a lifeline. But he slips away. The dream turns into darkness. His subconsciousness wins the battle and he sleeps. There'll be another day. Another day where he gets to be with his family. Another day where he has a chance to save them. Not himself, not anymore. But, and that's the last thought he gets to have before sleep fully engulfs him, knowing they'll be fine – it's all he needs. All he ever needed.

**The End**


End file.
